I am so excited that autumn is in full swing and so grateful for cool and crisp days. Although the summer wasn’t too bad in Berlin in terms of heat, we did get a few weeks of high temperatures and they were more than enough for me. One of the heat waves caught me very heavily pregnant, which is no fun. Another one caught me right as I gave birth and was in the hospital and that one was the double of no fun. So I am grateful to be able to use layers to warm up, and also to dress up the little bun in cute knit outfits.
As we celebrated two months with the little one, life is same same but different. Forever grateful for a long maternity leave because it makes it all so much easier. Although there is less sleep at night and some days are more rough, it feels so good to have nowhere to be and (almost) nothing else to care for but the little bun. Such a privileged position to be in, although it should be the baseline for all parents everywhere. The Mr also took paternity leave the first two months and we’ve both been fully focused on the little one, my recovery and our routines as a family of three. Honestly, this has made this time so much easier and precious for all three of us. I am definitely not excited that the Mr is now back at work, but at least remote work will soften the blow and will still allow for plenty of quality time and hands on care.
I’ve even done my first solo parenting stint this past week as the Mr was travelling for work, and although I was very worried thinking whether I’d manage, I’m proud to say I did great. It unfortunately coincided with the little one getting his first vaccination round and we had a tough couple of days but we managed them as best as we could and then we even squeezed in some social activities in the city such as meeting friends for coffee. Doing things on your own with a tiny baby can definitely feel daunting at first so it’s always great when you do it and realise it’s not that bad.
Other than that, I spent the last month slowly easing back into the world. Surprisingly, so far motherhood didn’t make me feel less like myself but rather more. I’ve been lucky to be on a high mentally (could be the hormones still being high and later on might be crashing, who knows) and truly enjoyed the ride so far. I was excited to shop a little, dress up and get back out into the world, to show off the gorgeous little bun I cooked and just be happy and enjoy life in general. Of course on the physical side I did have to slow down and take my time for recovery. I gradually was able to go for more walks, go out for coffee dates with the Mr and the little one and of course, also doing some shopping. I felt like treating myself to a few things and that definitely also helped with the mood and feeling good. Will share what’s been in my cart below, but first I wanted to also share some reflections from these first two months as parents.
Some thoughts on starting the parenthood journey
Recognising that everyone’s experience is wildly different, I want to share a few thoughts around our journey into parenthood so far. Overall we’ve been having an absolutely wonderful time. Adapting to life as a family of three has been smooth and an absolute bliss. We’ve truly been in a bubble so far. As I shared, we’ve both been on leave these first two months with hands on care and that helped us both get into a good mental space. It allowed both of us to slow down and adjust our mindset to focus one single thing, the little one.
The thing that helped us most is that we let go of all expectations, priorities and everything else. Instead we simply focused on taking care of the little one and setting the foundation for life as a family of three. We fully leaned into it and limited everything else such as the idea of being productive (except for the mandatory and lengthy paperwork trails), or being active physically beyond a few walks here and there when we could manage (which was not too often, especially at the start), cooking every single day or anything else that would distract or strain us. We just slowed down and enjoyed it as much as we could knowing that the time flies and we won’t get these days back. We enjoyed the times we would wake up 3, 4, 5 or more times at night. We enjoyed being nap trapped for hours on end every day with barely any time left to shower. We enjoyed running on the constant cycle of feeding, changing, napping and repeating. And the list can go on.
Alongside removing expectations, we also did it all together. Although we each leaned a little bit into our roles and responsibilities (me breastfeeding and the Mr practically doing everything else, especially at the start during the thickest of the recovery), being nap trapped for hours and waking up a million times at night is so much easier in two. Especially at the start. I never felt lonely or unsupported because we are both in it and this thought makes such a big difference. What was important for us from the start it’s that we’re both able to provide full care for the little one and one can easily step in when the other one needs a break. Of course, with the exception of feeding since I’m a walking food station and I chose not to pump yet.
That’s not to say certain things were not tough or are still not tough, or that recovery does not take its time. It’s just the idea that removing any expectations is sometimes a good thing. We knew it would be tough at times but we also knew we wanted to enjoy it and we were ready to step into life as a family. Of course, we still have so much ahead of us and I am sure the path will be full of challenges but I hope in tackling them as a strong team we’ll be doing so gracefully. I also acknowledge that everyone’s experience and circumstances are wildly different – and so are babies – so however your journey into parenthood is I hope you can find as much joy and fulfilment in it as you can.
What I bought as of late
A knitted jacket. I treated myself to the Ami Amalia Constantin jacket in blue to mark the birth of my son this summer. I had it on my wishlist for a while and it felt like the perfect treat to mark the occasion. (They also had a 40% discount campaign at the time so that definitely helped). I am in love with the colour combination and expect to hold on to this piece for a long time because it’s made out of thick wool and looks like it will last me a lifetime with the right care. They do discounts or sales a few times a year so I try to keep an eye on it because they have so many beautiful pieces to choose from. If you are looking for good quality knits and beautiful designs, you should definitely have a look.
H&M Pyjamas. For postpartum I knew I needed some soft and easy pyjamas, and I found the perfect ones at H&M. They are made out of muslin cotton, and are super soft and comfy but also extremely pretty. I got two pairs with shorts for summer and just recently got the long pants version for autumn/winter in chocolate brown. I literally have been living in them every day since the little one arrived. they are both comfy and quite chic I’d say.
Artipoppe Zeitgeist baby carrier. In the past year I haven’t really splurged on big items, but ever since getting pregnant I knew I would splurge on the gorgeous cashmere tweed carrier from Artipoppe. It’s very pricey for a carrier and I kept going back and forth until finally pulling the trigger last month. I have to say I am obsessed with how beautiful it is. It’s also very soft and comfortable and perfect for the cold season ahead. So far the little bun loves it so hopefully it will serve us very well.
Uniqlo basics. I also got myself a Uniqlo shirt from the JWAnderson collection because I love a good shirt and these are so well made. Would honestly buy them in all colours because I think they are that good. I also got myself a pair of the baggy curve jeans in dark grey and I’ve been wearing them non stop. I love that they are a relaxed fit and find them very flattering and comfy for the postpartum period and beyond. I would love to also get them in the light blue version because I am wearing them almost every day. that’s how good they are.
What’s on my autumn wishlist
I still have a bunch of things on my wishlist for this autumn though in case you need some inspiration or are just curious. I am however trying to take it slow because I am also shopping for the little bun’s winter wardrobe so a lot of the budget also goes there. They say babies are not expensive but when their mother’s taste and love for fashion is, well it’s another game.
Uniqlo straight wide leg blue jeans. If you don’t like the barrel leg trend, I also found these jeans extremely flattering. If you want a non jeans option, these black trousers are both cool and chic.
Barbour wax jacket. I’ve had this one on my wishlist for a while and every autumn I bring it back to the top of the list. This season I’ve been wearing my short trench coat that I got at Massimo Dutti a few years ago, but it lacks in rain protection and could use an upgrade. Plus, barn jackets are in so I’m no
Things I look forward to
Our first family trip. We are going to Madrid at the start of Novemeber and it will be the first time we are travelling with the little one. I am of course a little nervous but very excited. We will meet up with family there and then also have a few days for ourselves. I cannot wait to eat jamón and tortilla de patatas because last time I went I was pregnant and could not really eat those. And of course explore the city in three.
Wearing fragrance again. Throughout pregnancy and postpartum I haven’t been wearing perfume almost at all, so I’m excited to slowly start using it again in the next months. The Mr gifted me the Diptyque Vetyverio one for my last birthday and I love it but did not get to wear it much. So I can’t wait to start using some here and there in the next months.
Watching The Thursday Murder Club film on Netflix. One of the last good things I read is Richard Osman’s series “The Thursday Murder Club” which I read and finished end of last year. It took me a tiny bit to get warmed up to the whole murder mystery style, but once I did I loved it. The characters are very endearing and it’s a fun, light-hearted and wholesome novel series that just fits so well with the autumn mood. Honestly, reading it feels like enjoy a big slice of Victoria sponge cake and a cup of tea/coffee.
Reading a good book next. On my list next is “My Friends” by Fredrik Backman, that Cristina from @choiceofmagic recommended and I am so excited for it. I have to say that I thought that with a small baby and spending a lot of time breastfeeding and contact napping I would read more but honestly it doesn’t really happen since I am usually either trying to stay present or locked into very awkward positions that don’t allow for comfortable reading.
Christmas. Of course, closing in on the end of October means that Christmas is around the corner and I cannot wait to celebrate as a family of three and also in a new home. So much joy to be had and so many firsts ahead.
Thank you for reading and see you in the next one!
