I can’t quite believe the fourth trimester is over now and so is a quarter of my maternity leave (the post birth leave that is, as in Germany we also get 6 weeks before the due date). Time is flying and I am not ready for it to go by so fast. Looking back, the first three months have been pure bliss. We very much embraced following the little one’s rhythm during this time when it came to feeding, sleeping and caring for him. This alongside removing any sort of expectations when it came to his routine or our productivity, helped us have a very enjoyable time. I’ve actually been thinking about this aspect a lot so maybe I will share some more thoughts on it in a separate blog post soon.
November has been pretty eventful. We started the month with travelling to Madrid, which was our first travel with the little one. We spent a week there as the Mr. had a work trip so we joined him and then extended the trip for a few more days. Once back, we also had family visiting and staying with us for a week. Other than that, the rest of the days were spent managing naps (which is probably my main activity on the daily), getting some visits from friends and hosting/going for brunches and also a few visits to IKEA to get some Christmas decor. Also, how is Christmas around the corner? I feel like it was summer just a couple of weeks ago, but regardless I am so excited for December and enjoying cozy days at home and all the decor we’ve put up.
What’s my day looking like as a fresh mom
Overall the days are full of beautiful chaos and everything revolves around the little bun. So that means running on the continuous cycles of feeding, changing, napping and playing/entertaining during the wake windows. Because he’s three months old, he does not have a proper schedule as such, so it’s a matter of trying our best to keep him well fed, well rested, happy and clean.
While I don’t get that much time (especially uninterrupted time) for anything else, I am enjoying this stage in life and trying to go with the flow as much as possible and not get frustrated by creating unrealistic expectations when it comes to schedule, time, productivity, rest and so on. Drinking coffee is definitely the ritual that I hold onto the most and helps me enjoy the days. Aside from my old trusty Nespresso machine, I am also drinking a lot of French press coffee and also hand pour. A few years ago the Mr gifted me a Fellow French press, and recently we also got the Fellow EKG kettle for the hand pour to upgrade a little the daily coffee ritual. It’s honestly one of my anchors for the day to day.
Since currently we co-sleep also for naps, this means I am “nap trapped” a few times a day while I put him to sleep. Sometimes I have to spend the whole nap with him so I either use the time to read or watch YouTube on my phone. I recently installed Netflix on my phone so now I am watching “The Great” on Netflix and really enjoying it. Rarely I will also nap with him but for some reason I normally can’t manage to sleep much during the day. Other times I sneak out and hope that he does a long two hour nap instead of the likely and frequent 30 minutes naps he usually does, so that I can actually get something done. But it does not happen often.
The few “free” pockets of time during naps or while the Mr is on duty are spent on very mundane things such as showering, cooking something quick and/or eating, (very rarely) working out or doing some other homely tasks. And that’s with the Mr still being able to jump in and take care of the little one throughout his work day which is a luxury.
I also try to go out for a walk almost daily and often we do it together with the Mr for his lunch break. If the weather is too bad – it’s raining quite a bit these days – or I am somehow not fitting a walk in his “routine” for whatever reason, then I don’t sweat it and just stay in.
In the evenings the little bun goes to bed somewhere around 6-7 pm depending on the day or his mood or whatever the gods of sleep decide that day, so this is the only quiet time the Mr and I get together to cook, chat or watch something. Of course this time is not uninterrupted as the little one wakes up a few times in the evening and needs help to fall back asleep and by the end of the day we are also quite tired. But still, it’s great to have it.
I am choosing to fully lean into this slow paced life and while I am not feeling like I am losing myself at all, I do recognise that this is a new season that comes with new rhythms. Very early on I decided that I have to surrender to it in order to enjoy it and let go of any expectations that I might have build based off social media or stories I might have heard. And truthfully it’s been the best thing I’ve done.
Travelling with the little one for the first time
I was very excited to travel again and this time as a family of three, and our trip to Madrid turned out to be quite relaxed and easy. We were of course a little nervous to travel with the little one, but overall it went pretty smoothly. That means he didn’t spend the full flight crying, but of course we still had to manage his “mood” so everyone could have an easy flight.
Logistics wise, there’s a few things I want to share. We travelled with the full sized stroller since he can only use the bassinet for now. To do that we chose to check it in at the airport and then used the carrier at the airport. The carrier was very useful also during the flight as the moment he became restless I could stand with him and put him to sleep. Other than that, we packed quite minimally for him – a few changes of clothes and his diaper bag – so it didn’t feel like we left with the whole house. We relied on taking minibus taxis for changing hotels or going to the airport, as we had to fit it all in, and this was extremely helpful.
The trip was great but in order for it to be so, we kept the days relaxed so we could manage his nap schedule. We also met with family – my mom and sister got to meet the little one for the first time – and then enjoyed some perfect sunny autumn days in Madrid. While we didn’t do much, some of the activities we managed to squeeze in were a few good walks through the city (perfect nap time activity) including a beautiful sunny walk in Parque del Retiro and also a visit to Museo del Prado. I left with a little cute souvenir from El Prado – a beautiful blue sweater from a collaboration with Spanish streetwear brand NWHR – and I’ve loved wearing it since.
Thoughts on maternity leave and career pauses
Some people see maternity leave as career pauses, though to be honest it does not even feel like one. Five months in, and it just feels like a natural progression of life. Like a much needed shift to accommodate for the natural order of things. Because of course I want to take time to be with my newborn for as long as I can.
Right now I am not feeling the urgency to prove anything to anyone career wise. I was chatting to a colleague to other day and she asked me if I missed work. My answer is that I don’t. I do however miss working with people because I usually make it part of my work ethos to create a good and fun working environment and I do value my relationships with most people. But then again, I am in touch with my closest coworkers outside of work so that’s also a thing. I am so fulfilled right now and I value the time I get with the little one so much, I cannot imagine being away from him. And while I feel this way, I also think that it does not cancel the fact that I do also value my career long term. But right now I believe I can make space for both eventually. I do look forward to returning to work and hopefully creating value as part of that. The real issue that will arise is at what cost will that come, which I do anticipate it will be a struggle. Because from now on, spending significant time on anything else will mean spending less time with my child. And navigating that will be the challenge.
Although I am feeling rather optimistic, coming across the recent (and now renamed) New York Times piece “Did women ruin the workplace?” does not help (some links: the original conversation here, a 3-min take on it/summary from Fortune and a must-read response from Reshma Saujani). Even though the conversation is US focused it is also reflective of the rest of the world to a certain extent. The fact that a piece with this narrative can be published in 2025 felt like a slap in the face. It only heightened the awareness and understanding of just how broken things are on a systemic level for women, mothers and also fathers because this narrative affects everyone.
I’ve shared it many times, post-Covid era brought a huge shift in how I perceive work and career. While I do still value career growth I try to pursue it from a place of consciousness and as much as possible on my own terms. I am grateful for this awareness that I slowly developed and that made me take notice of all the structural issues within the workplace and overall how the world is set to run. With the pregnancy and now as a new mom, my awareness only became more pronounced. What before I perceived as small injustices or broken systems, now have become much more personal. From maternal care to child care and education, family support and of course workplace conditions for women, moms and dads. It all hits too close to home. And I think anyone with even a bit of their feet on the ground can agree that the system is broken in so many ways. Yes, many of us find ways of making it work to their advantage – getting an education, a good first job, climbing the ladder and feeling like we’re somewhat succeeding in this messy world – but deep down we know very well that things are not how they should be. It’s usually not until something significant happens in our lives that we realise just how broken it is – whether that’s a burnout episode, somebody to care for or becoming a parent.
I don’t have a solution for that just my messy thoughts above. But I do think that it’s extremely important for each of us to carve our own spaces and tailor them to our needs as much as possible in the workplace and also pull others in where possible. Of course, I guess I will be able to tell you more about it once I am on the other side of it. And I hope I can keep this optimistic mindset. I am overall excited to get back with more focus and more sharpness and be able to play with the idea of bending it all to my needs a little here and there while hopefully still being able to grow.
What I am (thinking of) buying
COS chunky cashmere sweater. The Row’s Ophelia “dupe” has also come across my radar, and I do love a good sweater, especially when it’s cashmere. It does have quite a steep price tag – and I’m talking about the COS sweater here, not even mentioning the multi-thousand euro one from The Row – but it could be a great option for a staple sweater. Still thinking about it and unsure if I will pull the trigger on it.
Chanel No. 5 on hand cream. On his recent business trip, the Mr restocked my beloved hand cream as a little treat and I do love it despite being rather pricy. It’s a splurge, sure but it’s a nice treat and gift idea for yourself or a loved one that does not really break the bank while still bringing a bit of luxury into the day to day. I also love the Le Lift version and the glossy black packaging.
Christmas decor. We went all in with decor for Christmas this year – new house and all that – and I am so happy about it. I can highly recommend checking out IKEA for beautiful decor items such as table lamps, decorative lamps and stars, candle holders and more, that are rather inexpensive. Of course also H&M Home (I got these red scalloped placemats that are very pretty) and Zara Home deliver as usual.
Merit Beauty. I’ve had my eye on Merit for a while and recently they finally launched in Germany. I’ve been battling with the idea of getting the Five Minute Morning set with a few products especially using the Black Friday discounts. In the end, I could not really justify it since I am not wearing makeup almost at all these days; I am constantly smooching a little baby and it doesn’t feel right. But I might come back to this idea once I am back at work next year.
That’s all for this month, thank you for reading and see you in the next one!
